im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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