dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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