All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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