I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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