Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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