I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize