idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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