i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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