They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize