Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize