somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
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i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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