She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
the raccoons are back...
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