If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
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