just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize