i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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