i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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