i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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