i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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