I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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