i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize