you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Randomize