I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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