My cat gives me a boner
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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