I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize