I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize