i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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