You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize