I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize