Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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