I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize