i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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