I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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