and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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