There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize