you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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