Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize