I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize