I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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