Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize