your parents love me but you hate me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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