Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control

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  (484): I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control http://tfl.nu/pmnn
  Replies (19) Good night (532) Bad night (2275) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

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  (816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z
  Replies (86) Good night (1347) Bad night (23160)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1321) Bad night (2627)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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  (516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr
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  (206): View more from Washington

  at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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  (206): at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception. http://tfl.nu/j51s
  Replies (34) Good night (1650) Bad night (4684) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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  (512): He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club. http://tfl.nu/qxuv
  Replies (16) Good night (1072) Bad night (3072) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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  (732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh
  Replies (12) Good night (841) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.

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  (678): Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina. http://tfl.nu/qhn3
  Replies (11) Good night (649) Bad night (3462) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

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  (416): Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing. http://tfl.nu/2fe4
  Replies (18) Good night (2260) Bad night (2701) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)

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  (630): Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-) http://tfl.nu/n299
  Replies (8) Good night (1857) Bad night (477)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.

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  (218): I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over. http://tfl.nu/5car
  Replies (4) Good night (1394) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago

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  (908): i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago http://tfl.nu/q8gp
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (496)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

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  (518): I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive. http://tfl.nu/rul5
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Dude that's a hat trick!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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  (616): Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs. (1-616): Dude that's a hat trick! (616): I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out. http://tfl.nu/g50u
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (164)

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