do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
this hospital has no fireball
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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