honey bunches of taint.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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