How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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