come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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