I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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