My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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