NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize