I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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