Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
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I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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