I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I am naked and annoyed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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